My labor and delivery story! (its LONG!)

Hello bloggers!

I know its been a while since Ive posted, last time I was 35 weeks pregnant! :) This time, Bentley is exactly 4 months old today. He is the sweetest boy. So let me fill you in on our journey.

I was going to the birthing home and planning a sweet, calming water birth, but Bentley had other plans. When I was 41 weeks and 5 days pregnant, we went in to Sarasota Memorial Hospital to make sure my fluids werent low, and that everything was going good with Bentley. After they checked everything, they came back and said my fluids were low and that they wanted to induce me. My fluids were only at 4 so they werent extremely low, but at that point I just wanted to have a baby and meet Bentley. I also knew that he probably wouldnt come in the next 2 days, and if he didnt then I would have had to be induced anyways, so Neil and I decided to be induced.

They started the induction process at 1pm on Monday, April 9th with a drug called Cervadil. I didnt start feeling any contractions until around 6pm, though. When the contractions got worse, I could hardly stand them. I was told labor was going to feel like really bad cramps, but boy were those people wrong! They were like cramps, yea, times one MILLION. Finally, at 5am, they gave me an epidural and I was able to get maybe 2 or 3 hours of sleep (interrupted sleep, that is). At around 9:45 am I started pushing. Nothing was happening and Bentley was not progressing at all. I was trying to tell everyone in the room that I couldnt do it anymore (although, I probably would have said that even if I could have lol) so 2 hours later they prepped Neil and me for a c-section. At that point, I really didnt care that I was going to have major surgery, I just wanted my baby to be safe and healthy. 

When I got into the OR they upped my epidural dose (THANK GOODNESS) and started prepping me. Neil came in shortly after. While I was sitting there I asked one of the nurses how long it all would take. She told me it would be about 15 minutes until Bentley was born and then another 30 minutes until I was stitched up and in recovery. I thought, hey 45 min isnt too bad. When Bentley was born I was so happy, but SO exhausted. He was perfect. 8 lbs 15 oz and 22 in long. He did have a bad cone head though lol. Still an adorable baby! After they weighed him and wrapped him up, they took him up to the nursery and Neil went with him. After that I had passed out.

Im not sure how many times I actually woke up during this process of "30 minutes to stitch me up" but I remember waking up twice. One time I asked for water since I didnt have anything to eat or drink during labor (almost 24 hours!) and the nurse snapped and said "No water in the  OR. You can cry all you want but youre not getting water." At this point I didnt know what she meant by crying, because I wasnt, but I passed out again so it didnt really matter. The second time I woke up and asked for a cold wash cloth on my head and then passed out again. I was in surgery for about 4 hours. so much for 30 minutes! 

When I got to recovery, I was there for maybe 45 minutes before they let Neil come down. (Im just guessing because I couldnt stay awake in there either!) When I finally went to a room they told me that during surgery I had lost a lot of blood because I had a cervical tear (SORRY if its TMI, just telling the story :) ) Thats why I was in surgery for so long. They were going to give me a blood transfusion but decided not to at that point. I finally got to see Bentley about 6 hours after he was born. No matter how out of it I was, that was the happiest moment of my entire life. He was perfect. 

Fast forward to 2 days later. I had to go through a bunch of tests to make sure things were ok. They decided to give me a blood transfusion on the 2nd day, 3 bags of blood! ugh. Honestly, it was kind of gross watching someone elses blood go into my arm, but hey, if it was saving my life or making me better then so be it! We finally got to go home on Friday, April 13. Since then I have had multiple trips to the hospital, and all of them but one have been from having Bentley. I have at least 15 hospital bracelets (from me) in Bentley's remembrance box! 

So, thats my crazy labor and delivery story! After all of that, we got home and about a week later Bentley was extremely colicky. He would scream for hours at a time, non stop. I felt SO bad for him! He finally grew out of it though and now he is the best baby. Sure, he is needy and he wants to be held rather than play by himself, but I love holding and cuddling him. Being a mom is completely different than I had expected. Yes, to those who told me that and I said it was going to be easy, YOU, my friends, were right. I had never imagined having a difficult baby. I knew there would be hard times, but this is...just completely different. But, to say the least, I love this boy to the moon and back a million times. Hes my world. Even though we have already been through so much in the past 4 months, I wouldnt change anything. The past 4 months has made me who I am today and has given me my little monkey. 

Bentley Owen Walker, I love you so much little man! You complete my world and I will always be here for you no matter what! I love you with all of my heart. <3<3<3<3<3<3

Having a hard time.

Well, I am now 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Bentley is moving NON stop and I swear he's going to burst my bladder! I love feeling him move though. :) This pregnancy has been pretty hard. People say "enjoy it while you can" and I've been trying to but its been way harder than I thought. Now that all the headaches are gone I have horrible heartburn. I've been eating Tums like candy! But that's the least of my worries. at 29 weeks I developed what I hate to call PUPPPs or Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. Basically, its a rash developed during pregnancy that is worse than poison ivy or the chickenpox and if you itch it, it spreads over your ENTIRE body! Luckily, Ive never itched it but then again Im not so lucky for that because its horrible and will not go away until Bentley is born! It keeps me up at night or if I have already fallen asleep it will wake me up! its horrible, but Im sticking it out for Bentley and NOT getting induced!


Anyways, I've also had another big problem this whole pregnancy. It seems like my decisions for MY son (which people don't seem to understand whose son he actually is..) have been judged and knocked down. I'm not going to mention any names, but every decision I've made or am going to make for him has been shot down and I've been called selfish for them all. At one point, it seemed like nothing I had planned for MY son was right and I was going to be SUCH a horrible parent. I was very depressed and upset about this through most of my pregnancy. I mean, how are you suppose to enjoy something when you're being called selfish and a horrible parent? It seemed almost impossible.



The sad part is that Ive had to let some relationships go because of some of their comments that just wouldnt go away and its really heartbreaking! I am a person who has a very hard time letting go of people and relationships, especially ones that have been there for such a long time! But I know God has a plan for me and my life and that letting those relationships go was just a small part of that plan.



Now, I am happy to say that things are looking up at Ive realized that there are SO many different parenting styles and NONE of them are wrong! Unless of course you're beating your child or causing them harm. Bentley will most definitely receive PLENTY of attention and love and will be cared for in the best way that I know how. I have learned that if you dwell on the negative comments that you will get no where and they will only make you angry. I have also learned that you just need to sit back, breathe and pray about it when someone tells you these mean or rude comments. praying can pretty much cure ANYTHING, even though some things take longer than others. I've learned to be patient and to say thank you to those who give their unwanted opinions and just let it go. Take the advice that is useful and put it to use, and discard all the other advice, no need to be upset about it :) 


I know that God is there for me and most of my family is too. I can get through the hard times with them. I have to say that my mom is a big part of this thinking. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2011 and it was very devastating. ever since then, she has gone through a serious of trials and tribulations and she has gotten through all of them with her head held high, knowing Jesus will take care of her. Shes had a smile on her face pretty much this whole time, even when not feeling well, she always has something positive to say. I know that I can learn from my mom and know that if I just trust in God and the power of prayer, I will get through all of the hard times in my life. The comments and remarks that Ive received are so small and I've learned to take what I can use and politely decline the others. 


Thank you mom, you're such an amazing person. Thank you for being there for me through everything! I love you and you're such a great role model! I know you will always be there for me and Bentley whenever we need anything and I am so thankful for that! I am so thankful to have you as my mom! <3